Here's the low down. My family and I have spent a good portion of 2014 sick. Cold after cold, the stomach flu twice , it has been bonkers. I barely have time to think some days.
All of that to say I have not been as faithful on here as I had hoped to be.
It's strange. Since I have admitted being bulimic things have not gone as I imagined. I sort of thought I would feel this imaginary weight off my shoulder and be able to finally heal. But no, that's not the case so far. Funny, a few of the people who I have told have even blown me off. One going so far as to say I couldn't have an eating disorder. I was still fat. Fat people are clearly never broken in the food department. What?
I have good days, and bad days still, but I think I am healing. It is equally a relief and frightening to not be concerned with a scale number. I know I'm gaining. I have to be. And I feel awful about it, but at the same time my eating actually feels what I imagine a normal person does.
Trust the process and all that. I'm trying.
No comments:
Post a Comment